Ah, the Honeymoon fund. A source of great debate in the wedding blogosphere. If you’re new to the wedding game, haven’t read these posts from Miss Jackrabbit or Mrs Perfume or just flat out ignored the idea of them altogether, allow me to introduce you:
There are lots and lots of options out there to accomplish this registry: Honeyfund, HoneymoonWishes, Wanderable, and TravelersJoy seem to be the most popular. The idea is simple – like a traditional, in-store registry, you set up a registry list of items you want, but instead of china, towels, kitchen gadgets and sheets, you register for airfare, room upgrades, excursions and private dinners on the beach. You can designate an amount for each item, and break it up into smaller increments for your guests to buy. For instance, if ziplining through the jungle costs $200 for both of you, you could divide it into 4 gifts of $50 for people to purchase.
The idea behind these registries is somewhat controversial – some people feel it is a unique way to gift an experience rather than a blender, some people think it’s rude to ask guests to essentially pay for a vacation, and others feel it’s a sneaky way to ask for cash, which is a definite no-no in the world of wedding etiquette.
I personally struggled with these exact thoughts for quite some time. It’s no secret that most wedding couples enjoy receiving monetary gifts, and we are no different. It’s difficult, complicated and expensive to join two lives together, and getting a few checks at a wedding helps put a little breathing room back into your new marriage. We’re paying for this wedding ourselves, which has resulted in a serious lifestyle change. We don’t go out, we don’t eat dinner in restaurants anymore, we are workaholics and barely ever see each other these days, in order to pay for a single day (aka the most important day of our lives, right?). And we’re okay with that, but it’s awfully hard on the wallet. We could definitely use money, but at the same time, it’s something you just don’t ask for.
Some people have skirted around this issue by not registering at stores at all, which most feel implies they would prefer cash. However, some wedding guests enjoy giving a physical gift, and get offended by even the suggestion of cash.
Enter: honeymoon registry. The secret that some guests don’t take the time to realize is that they aren’t truly buying you a specific thing – they are essentially depositing an amount into a Paypal account, minus a small fee from the website.
I was one of these guests at a wedding several years ago. I purchased the bride and groom a canal gondola ride through Venice and was so excited to see photos and hear about how grateful they were that they could experience such an amazing memory, but… it never happened. The groom got transferred out of state for his job and they had to postpone their honeymoon. For 2 years. Later, the bride told me that she used the honeymoon fund to help with moving costs.
Boy, did I feel dumb.
Compromise: Cam and I signed up at Honeyfund.com and have decided that we are going to use the honeymoon funds for just that. The Honeymoon. We registered for airfare upgrades, room upgrades, private cabanas, ziplining, horseback riding, sunset cruises, cocktails, champagne, and breakfast in bed.
Just this morning one of my bridesmaids sent me a text saying that since she’s traveling, she bought me a shower gift, but wasn’t sure if it would get sent to me instead. Expecting a box to show up on my doorstep, I got an email from Honeyfund saying she gifted us with a sunset catamaran cruise. She said she knew it would go into a PayPal account, but thought the idea of it was neat and so she was okay with it.
So, hive, who else has done a honeymoon registry? Did you receive any backlash from your guests? What are your thoughts?